Onion-eyed Hunger Munger (",)

"Whoever invented diets should be dragged into the street and beat to death with celery sticks!" - Sasta©

Even though I just came up with that quote, I'm going to print it out and poster it all over Skinny Town. I'm sick and tired of lolly-pop-headed stick insects parading around (or should I say straggling around-loss of food does that to ya) in this season's Skinny Outfits (for us anti-dietists, it's Fat Outfits).

I myself, have fallen victim to the Diet-Syndrome in the past. I mean; we have to compete with the abovementioned stick insects to try and fit into society's perfect mould. Even so, we still fall far from featuring as goodish-looking. It's awhole loada bollix!! We should listen to those clichéd happy-phrases that us normal love-handled peeps shout from the rooftops. It's a declaration of our independance (and that shall be the last time that I ever go into any political ramblings) when we pound on our chest and holler: "Fat is BEWWWWWDIFUL! It's what's on the inside that counts goddamnit!!!"

I now don't give a flying *$%! whether I fit the beauty mould or not. I'd rather be a lil flabby on the edges than starve to a wee lil stick insect. YES I love food too damn much- YIKES I din know how hungry I was until I typed the word food out. *starts to dribble on the keyboard* I know I should be more heathy- but i think I do me part being a vegetarian and all... dun get me started about how we as man were made to eat meat and such. So what, I choose not to- so leaf me alone! I know I said dun get me started- just one more thing before the cows come home- It really irritates me when peeps start talking sadistically about how fun it is to see a lil lamb being slaughtered into a chop. Woop dee doo... I watch National Geographics- I've seen animals in the wild devouring each other with a smack of their bloodstained lips as they finish up. I just think it sucks that we have to be so proud about tearing down the rainforests for the likes of Mc Donald's and all the other Meateries.

*takes deep breath and wipes brow*

Ok, before I die of starvation imma find summin to nibble on.

Hope you enjoyed the food for thought...

P.S. Floss between every meal now *burp*